Author: emetroka

The Friday Post. [vol. 2]

~ emetroka ~ 1 Comment

In the grand scheme of fast weeks versus slow weeks – it was a fast one, but I can’t say that it’s one I enjoyed all that much. This morning, our whole street was blanketed in a thick sheet of fog. We drive down a mile long stretch of straight road to get out of our neighborhood and on my way to drop the boys at daycare (just Charlie and Ben. I’m still home with Luke.) it felt as if I was driving into oblivion with Charlie and Ben in the back chattering about where the moon might be. I’m not quite sure where the days went. Maybe I lost them somewhere up in there in the fog. And all week, despite being home with Luke and not doing nearly as much as I normally do, when the days were over I tossed myself into the couch and almost immediately fell into a deep dreamless sleep, waking around 11 when I realized I was not tucked in my bed as I should be. I’m glad it was a fast week because honestly I’m ready to move on to the next one.

Things are going full speed ahead in our primary bathroom remodel. Everything has been torn apart, and the task of putting it all back together again has started. Drywall is going up today, electrical work is done, and next week tile will start to go up. That’s when it starts looking like a bathroom again instead of an empty shell. We’ve made our picks for tile, but still have to pick up everything else. Honestly, I think it’s going to wind up looking an awful lot like the boys’ bathroom except with a shower instead of a tub and that will make for a very happy bathroom indeed. Should be done in another week and a half, just before my parents arrive for their annual February stay.

This weekend will consist of trying to get my bearings, trying to decide if Luke is well enough to go to school on Monday, and I hope lots of fresh, clean, healing air. What have you been up to? I hope you had a lovely week. How about some links from around the web?

I’m pretty sure this cinnamon toast is what dreams are made of.

Broccoli soup. yum.

My friends were all chatting about this earlier this week and now I’m obsessed. Have you tried it?

If you’re in the US – run!

I saw this dress the other day and can’t get it out of my mind.

How to be more successful and less stressed.

I’m dreaming about all the places in my house I want to stick a sconce.

Adding to my list of February cocktails.

Have a great weekend, friends! ♥️

On (Working) Mom Guilt.

~ emetroka ~ 6 Comments

Luke is sick. Has been all week. We had Monday off for Martin Luther Jr. Day, and he woke with a cough that got steadily worse through the day. Tuesday morning, I woke up at 5am for my school day as normal, got myself ready, the big boys, and then went to wake Luke up and get him ready too (he’s generally my “late” sleeper). He seemed a little tired and weepy, but I was ready to push through and was honestly in a bit of a rush to get us to school on time (I abhor being late). I was totally tunnel vision. ***MUST GET OUT DOOR*** My husband leaves later than we do, so he was holding a very limp-looking Lukey against him as I buzzed around the house barking orders at everyone then trying to morph those orders into a fun game like the toddler drill sergeant I can lean toward in the mornings. The need to run a tight toddler ship and all. Mike asked me a couple times if I wanted to stay home with Luke because he didn’t seem like he was feeling all that well. Nope! I answered. He doesn’t seem like he has a fever. He’s good. It’s just a cough. We’re going to school. My husband defers to me on these things (as he should. lol).

I was finally finished corraling everyone and everything, so I leaned in to grab Luke and I finally stopped to take a look at him. He had his eyes closed and was leaning on my husband’s chest with his arms slack at his sides. His cheeks were flushed and an audible wheeze was rattling in his chest. I felt his forehead and, of course, fever. Enter Mom Guilt. Hit me like a ton of bricks, as it tends to. He was so very clearly not ok. I was so ready to just push through and get us to where we “needed” to be at any cost, when clearly home is where he needed to be. 

I know, I know. You’re thinking – “It’s ok mama! You realized! You did the right thing in the end.” because you are my sweet, kind, supportive readers. But if you’re a parent – you know what I mean. The guilt that you’re not doing the right thing. That you didn’t immediately realize what was best for your child because you were thinking about what you “needed” to do for work. Anyway – I’ve been home all week because that cough has since turned into pneumonia. Breathing treatments, steroids, doctors visits every day and the threat of the Emergency Room if he didn’t get his oxygen levels up. Still can’t believe I almost sent him in to school like that. 💔 mom guilt of the most extreme case and gosh does it burn.

But that’s not all – on the other side…you have working guilt. I’m a teacher – an elementary school librarian – and did you know there’s a teacher shortage? There’s a substitute teacher shortage too. So while I’m out – no one is covering my classes. Teachers just don’t get their planning when they have media for fine arts. A whole week of letting down 40 teachers. No one covering my morning or afternoon duties, my lunch duty, my various extra classes that I cover. I can only imagine what they’re saying. “I wish I could take a whole week off too, but I’m here doing my job like I’m supposed to.” No, maybe they don’t all know that my son has pneumonia and he needs me, but it doesn’t stop the guilt. And it won’t be the last time I’m out this year. I’m sure of it. Just as it’s not the first time I’ve been out (we had a nasty run of RSV earlier this year, croup cough another time, and several weeks of quarantines for contact tracing at the beginning of the year).

I was chatting with Mike’s sisters and mom the other day, and his sister who has four kids and is also a teacher told me something I just really needed to hear. “You will never look back and wish that you had been working during this time. Luke needs you. I used to feel so guilty about missing school for sick kids, but not anymore. I remember missing a lot of school when ours were young. It’s just a phase.” And she’s so right! But it’s sometimes hard to tell your mind something that your heart knows. Anyway – I’m sure that Luke will be better next week, and I’ll be back at school, and in a few weeks I’ll go through this spiral all over again when he or one of the other boys picks up something else. For now, I’m going to try my best to enjoy the baby snuggles, being home, and hot coffee on tap.

Polenta Party for a Crowd.

~ emetroka ~ Leave a comment

I woke Monday morning with just the twinge of a wine headache. My normal weekend limit of two glasses had been stretched to three as a result of flickering candlelight, a table full of friends, and my kids blessedly entertained by people other than me. Twelve of us gathered around two long tables pushed together, on chairs and benches that my husband and I have collected from dumpsters, curbs, and thrift stores over the years. Little jars gathered in the same way were all filled up with wildflowers that Luke and I picked early in the morning down the road from our house. Old glass yogurt containers had votive candles burning, the wine was decanted that morning, more candles burned around the house, lamplight filling the rooms, soft music (Louis Armstrong) tinkled in (And I think to myself, What a Wonderful World) on a small speaker in the kitchen. Mismatched glasses and napkins lined the table set with our white dishes and to top it all off, the windows were cracked to let in the most delicious winter breeze.

I’ve craved gatherings like these over the last few covid-ruled years. Big family style dinners where the food is so dang good, but no one actually cares if it’s fancy or just chili with cornbread because they’re just happy to be there. The fear of gathering together has held me back from creating these special memories (current health crisis and all). We’re still being diligent and of course we still wear masks when out and are vaccinated and and and…but I also know that before I know it my kids are going to be grown or too cool to hang around us and they’ll have missed out on gatherings with loved ones and community and how much longer is this going to last anyway (I fear the answer may be forever)? But anywho – I’m not actually here to talk about the virus. I’m here to talk about the warm feelings that gathering around a table brought. And of course the FOOD! Ahh what I wouldn’t give to be able conjure up for the smells filling the house on Sunday night. Of braised beef cooked for hours in the oven, of herbs I picked fresh from my own little garden, of brownies iced while still warm, of farmer’s market carrots roasted until sweet and topped with carrot top pesto.

Really though, instead of making you all hungry, I just wanted to share the menu in case it might give you some inspiration for your own gathering. And also for myself so I can refer back to it when I wonder to myself…what did I make for that winter dinner party with our people? And how did I make that perfect big batch of polenta in the crock pot? So here it is. Just click on the text to go to the recipe I used. And of course I took no actual pictures of the food because who has time for photos once the friends arrive and the wine is poured?

The menu:

Parmesan polenta (recipe follows)
Braised beef ragu
Roast carrots with carrot top pesto
Collard greens
Vinaigrette for a big green salad
Iced brownies
(Spiked) Grapefruit soda

Big batch Parmesan Polenta in a slow cooker
makes 10-12 servings

9 cups liquid (I used about 4 cups vegetable broth and the rest water) plus another 1 cup or so to add at the end if needed
3 cups fine or coarse ground corn meal
1 cup parmesan

Set slow cooker to low and pour in liquid. Add corn meal and stir. Cook for 3-4 hours, stirring every hour until thick. Just before serving, pour in parmesan and stir together. You may want to add a bit more liquid at the end too depending on how thick it looks. This is for soft polenta. Turn to warm and your polenta will stay nice and soft until serving.

To serve the ragu, I used a large white serving platter and poured polenta and spread to about 1 inch thick or so. Top with ragu, and send everything around the table family style if you’re feeling extra warm and fuzzy.

An Small Idea for Prayer.

~ emetroka ~ 7 Comments

When I was probably 8 or 9 nine years old, my mom and I were in the car driving somewhere or other. I don’t remember the errand, but I will always remember something that she told me on that drive. We had to pull over to the side of the road for a fire truck speeding past us going to help someone. My mom told me that every time that happens, we should say a prayer for the people they’re going to help. Now, I have to tell you that I’m not someone who sets aside time to pray every day. We’re catholic and go to church (sporadically these days what with the current health crisis), but I spend most of the mass managing my three boys and praying that we make it to the end. lol. And of course, I send up a personal prayer when I feel like I need to, but to this day, anytime I see a see an ambulance, fire truck, or police car with its lights on, I say a prayer for the people who they’re going to help. Think of all the prayers that could be said for those people if we all started doing this. And it just means that in some small way we may be helping someone in crisis.

Do you have moments you pray? I’d love to hear. I keep thinking that the boys’ should start saying evening prayers before bed too, so maybe I’ll try to start that this week.

(Spiked) Grapefruit Soda.

~ emetroka ~ 1 Comment

I don’t know what it is about January, but after the holidays have come and gone, citrus fruits begin to consume my thoughts. Maybe it’s the freshness after the sticky sweetness of the treats from Christmas? Maybe it feels fresh and healthy for the new or year? Maybe it’s because citrus is in season in the winter months? Whatever it is, my need for citrus in January has held strong my entire adult life. So of course, keeping with those strong feelings, I had to make a citrus cocktail this month.

Saturdays are my cocktail day. I don’t make them during the week (other than the odd margarita for Taco Tuesday and I’ll occasionally have something on Friday, but my sight on Fridays is wholly focused on pizza and who cares what I’m drinking?), but let me tell you, come 4:30pm on Saturday, I am starting to think about my weekend cocktail paired with a little pre-dinner charcuterie. I always pick my cocktails at the beginning of the month so I can have something different for each week. January’s drinks were an Italian Greyhound, a Hummingbird Cocktail, an Aperol Spritz and, of course, the grapefruit soda. It’s just a happy little habit that makes the weekend feel more luxurious and special. And it’s not about the alcohol. It’s the whole process. The treat of taking time to make a multi-step beverage – a luxury that I don’t have during the week. And I think you should try it too. Guarantee you’ll feel more relaxed with a homemade cocktail in hand.

Ok on to the drink. The elements of the grapefruit soda are simple. Grapefruit simple syrup, grapefruit flavored sparkling water (I used Perrier), and your favorite vodka. You could have it with or without the alcohol, and it’s a true delight either way. Last week I made it for the boys with just the grapefruit soda and simple syrup and they drank it right down.

Grapefruit Simple Syrup

2 cups grapefruit juice (I used 4 grapefruits, but it will vary. Use ruby red or pink for prettiest color)
2 cups sugar

Combine the grapefruit juice and sugar in a saucepan. Heat over medium heat and cook 10-15 minutes, stirring occasionally until sugar has dissolved. Let cool and store in a jar with lid. Will keep refrigerated for about a month.

Grapefruit Soda (for one drink)

Ice
1 1/2 oz vodka
1 1/2 oz grapefruit simple syrup
Grapefruit flavored sparkling water, to top (I used Perrier)

Stir together vodka and simple syrup in your glass, add ice and top with grapefruit sparkling water. Cheers and enjoy!